Mindset

For centuries women have remained embedded in institutional mindsets and dictated to by cultural norms yet all of this is changing. Empowerment has captured the imagination of females across the globe and women are indeed changing the world. The power of female inclusion has been realized by many yet we’re still part of a system that’s not entirely fixed.

So, here are a few steps I believe women must take to acknowledge that power, use it, and most importantly, build upon it.

1.  Purpose – We all have natural strengths and abilities and an empowered woman knows how to tap into this reservoir of inner power and to connect the dots to engage in purpose living. Living in alignment is key in identity construction as this is both an individual and social process.

2.  High self-esteem – She comes from a place of fulfilment and is aligned with everything around her – there’s no room for self- limiting beliefs. She has unshakeable belief and faith in herself and it shows in her behaviour and attitude. A female with high self-esteem is not afraid or ashamed to show her vulnerability and scars.

3.  Takes responsibility – A strong woman has respect for herself and does not play victim. She takes responsibility in her relationships, financial decisions, her children, her home and career. She doesn’t complain about her hardships and challenges instead she will use this an opportunity to turn her struggles around.

4.  Champions other women – There’s always the invisible sly of women to pull other women down for reasons mostly stemming from jealousy and deep-rooted levels of inadequacy. The 21st century sees a lot of women coming through the ranks of leadership and an empowered woman will not think twice about lifting another woman up or celebrating her successes. She acknowledges that it isn’t always about her.

5.  Dedicated to a cause – She builds a network of like minded women and serves as a role model to females looking for support in the workplace and beyond. In elevating others, she rises. This strong woman can build platforms that positively engage other women.

6.  Takes care of herself – self-improvement and development are of absolute importance to her and taking care of her well-being, health, body and mind is priority. She follows a regime that has been built around healthy habits such as exercising, spending time in solitude, eating sensibly etc.

7.  Attitude and thinking – her thinking, value system and ideas are linked to her higher purpose. An empowered woman does not focus on reasons as to why she can’t do something but more on the lines of how to get moving. She moves ahead with the times and her thinking is very advanced and so are her conversations.

8.  Social intelligence – She understands the social patriarchy, male dominated work environments, gender norms and how this influences women. Women in general do unconsciously hold themselves back – by becoming socially intelligent she can not only transform herself but also positively impact larger groups.

9.  Stands apart– plays up to her strengths rather than fit in a mould and the traditional male way of doing things. She’s not afraid to voice her opinion, stand up for a cause while remaining feminine. She’s different and people can feel her presence.

If you could write a letter to your younger self, what would you say?

Womanology is the essence of having and knowing that goes far beyond the realms of biology and represents the pyramid of power that a woman holds while encapsulating a certain measure of softness. Women can easily shift roles from being entrepreneurs with a business degree to stylish icons and then to full time mums hosting dinner parties. Mother Nature has defined women as maternal gatekeepers blessed with force fields of power and beauty, but youth is the one aspect that no amount of education, money or surgery can bring back to any woman.

New age womanology has given rise to a culture and sets a platform for an obsession with drinking from the fountain of youth and sees many women upgrading to trends of ‘staying young’. The pressure to remain youthful has become the way of life. Gratefully with thanks to designers, beauticians, plastic surgeons, yoga, alternate medicine and healthy diets the new forty is now thirty-three. Some fifty year old women have faces and figures that look like they belong on a catwalk in Paris or New York and have confidently explored a relationship with their bodies and images. In spite of this the age and beauty bias remains a bone of contention and still dominates modern mindsets and attitudes.

The age and beauty bias is common across all industries, for example in filmdom Hollywood beautiful actresses are not allowed to age. A topic very much hot on the heels is that Hollywood is mathematically averse to aging actresses; some movies have seen women in their mid-thirties playing roles of mothers to daughters in their 20s. Aging women get fewer roles than younger actresses (they tend to become invisible with age) and talent and experience as an actor seems to be overlooked; hence actresses giving in to the pressures of the surgical knife and botox treatments.

Women worry more about looking young than being slim. They feel that once they reach a certain age it will become difficult for them to get ahead professionally. Older women find it tougher to get ahead in their careers and dealing with the passing years than men. Aging women in the office is not seen as attractive and women over forty often stress about a few strands of grey hair, on the other hand men with grey hair are seen as distinguished. According to a national poll in 2000 in the U.S. adults found that nearly 90 percent of people think women are under more pressure to look younger than men. Even though the life expectancy of women exceeds that of men by seven years, women are expected to retire at the same age of men.

Younger female workers are more readily hired and often advance more quickly in the workplace than older women. Attractiveness is unfortunately associated with youth and the female gender is at mercy’s end to look youthful and physically appealing. Many women tend to feel discriminated for both gender and age across most industries. Lahey’s 2006 study shows that the age bias can be an issue even when over-qualification is not a concern and that employers are less likely to request interviews from women over the age of 50 than those between the ages of 35 and 50 with the same amount of experience and skill. There are far too many stereotypes and pressures surrounding age and beauty that govern women both in society and the workplace.

Based on research for my recently published book “From the Ballroom the Boardroom”, I found that a few employment roles prioritised physical appearance and beauty over skill, experience and talent. Decisions in the workplace are sometimes based on a woman’s dress sense, physical appearance and age. A female will get a job based on how visibly appealing she is and not on her capabilities of getting the job done, hence a woman can only accelerate on the corporate ladder as far as the bosses in her company want her to. Overweight women are sometimes discriminated against when it comes to certain job roles even though they might prove to be more resourceful than someone slim. I feel that women face too much of pressure to climb the corporate ladder.

The antiquated norm that older women are less appealing to date and marry is still well and alive and boldly thrives across many cultures. Older women are labeled as having less market value and are unfortunately looked down upon and discriminated against even by their own communities. Single older women are often ostracized and made to feel that there is something wrong with them only because they’ve made the conscious decision not to marry at an early age.

High altitude careers discriminate against women and their age with many left racing against the fertility clock. Many women either sacrifice having children during prime child bearing years or risk damaging the structure of their families in order to rise up the corporate ladder. The income gap between men and women is due mainly to the penalties women incur when they interrupt their careers to start families. Women labour under the impression that they can have it all but I have realized that we cannot have it all at the same time. There are waves during which success in different areas happen and it seems sacrifice needs to be made in one area in order for another area to progress.

I feel that the age and beauty bias should not deter women from progressing up the corporate ladder, exploring entrepreneurship and growing in their personal lives. Biases don’t appear out of thin air; they can diminish and even disappear over time. I applaud those who seek to reinvent and improve on their self-images while rejuvenating their minds and striving to push passed barriers. There is no correlation between physical beauty and integrity. By finding the anchors that wield authentic and empowering behaviour in the personal and professional domain while limiting mental, emotional and physical bankruptcy, the female gender can help in the progression of eradicating such barriers.